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Jenny Wakeman’s robotic brain overloaded with the endless possibilities of past, present, and future reality revealed by the Quantum Kaleidoscope. She saw herself inhabiting infinite lives. She glimpsed unimaginably strange versions of herself as far removed from her current existence as the Milky Way is from GN-z11. 

Jenny Wakeman’s robotic body sat inert, on the edge of her bed, surrounded by her human friends. After five minutes without so much as a beep from Jenny, Tuck waved his hand in front of her blank eyes. “Helllooooooo!” He turned to Brad and Sheldon. “Can robots become vegetables?”

Brad said, “She does look a little dopey.” He reached for her belly-bolt. “Maybe we should reboot.”

With a flick of the wrist, Jenny slapped his hand away. Otherwise she remained motionless, her eyes still vacant. “Don’t get grabby, Brad.”

Sheldon said, “You okay, Jen? Is the machine working?” 

“Or are you having some sort of robot stroke?” added Tuck.

“I’m just a little preoccupied with the multiverse, guys,” said the wide-eyed robot. “There are versions of the cosmos with no life whatsoever and jam-packed universes with unique lifeforms on every planet. Abstract mathematical actualities without physical form and versions of existence with carnal beasts of pure emotion.”

“I like the sound of that!” growled Tuck.

“Take it easy, tiger,” said Brad.

Jenny grew thoughtful. “There are so many ways the future might fall into chaos, but also a number of paths to achieve lasting intergalactic peace.”

Sheldon said, “Going to nudge things in the peaceful direction, I hope.”

“There’s no nudging,” said Jenny. “There are countless variables and computations involved in making such huge changes to the structure of reality.” Jenny blinked. The steady hum of the Quantum Kaleidoscope dwindled. “Honestly, it just seems like the largest, hardest homework assignment ever.” 

Brad looked at Sheldon hopefully and said, “So you’re going to leave reality alone after all?”

“Nope,” said Jenny. The machine powered back up. “There’s no way I’m letting Epiphany Crust record that mocking song and spread my humiliation far and wide. She has got to go!”

“Uuuhhh, perhaps a test run first?” suggested Sheldon. “Maybe change something small and harmless before playing with peoples’ lives? Just to make sure the machine works like we think it does and there aren’t any weird side effects.”

Jenny sighed. “As much as I hate to admit it, that actually makes sense.” She sat up straight and her eyes got that faraway look again. “Alright boys, prepare for Alternaverse-1.”

There was the smallest revving of the Quantum Kaleidoscope, then nothing. Jenny disconnected herself from the machine. “Well, what do you think?”

The boys looked around and then at Jen. Tuck asked, “What changed?”

Jenny said, “Look at your hands.”

They did. Sheldon said, “So? I’m not seeing adamantium claws or stony skin. Just normal skin, four fingers, and a thumb."

“Yes, four fingers and a thumb,” said Jenny. "You all used to have only three fingers, like me.”

“What?” blurted Tuck.

“No way!” barked Brad.

“Welcome to the Four-Finger-verse, boys,” said Jenny. “Time to get to school. And remember, keep a look out for anything strange. Though I guess you wouldn’t notice, seeing as the four-finger thing is normal to you now.” She shook her head. “Blech! Just looks wrong.”

The day passed without incident. And besides being creeped out by the extra digit on all the humans, Jenny could detect no weird side effects or other alterations to reality in Alternaverse-1. The only negative consequence seemed to be that the extra finger made Piff an even better guitar player. 

One day of this was enough. Jenny was through wasting time and the Pip Crystal’s energy on test runs. She was ready for the real deal. That evening she powered up the Quantum Kaleidoscope and plugged herself in. 

“Time to eliminate the Crust Cousins once and for all!”

I was overjoyed to have award-winning performer Jay Myers return to narrate the sequel to THE HORRIBLE BAG OF TERRIBLE THINGS. Check out this short clip of him reading a section of the audiobook of THE TWISTED TOWER OF ENDLESS TORMENT:

Listen to This!

You can order the audiobook or hardcover here:

Enter the Twisted Tower