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Jenny Wakeman’s day in Alternaverse-1 (in which humanity had an extra finger on each hand for a total of four fingers and a thumb) had passed without XJ-9 detecting any weird side effects or unintended alterations to the fabric of reality. Avoiding spoilsports Sheldon and Brad, Jenny zoomed home after school and went straight to her room, telling her mom she had tons of homework to do. |
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But Jenny’s studies that night had nothing to do with reading or writing, and everything to do with arithmetic. The equation is simple enough, thought Jenny. My Teenage Robot Life minus the Crust Cousins equals Bliss. |
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Jenny powered up the Quantum Kaleidoscope and plugged herself in. The machine’s immense power to alter reality was at her command. Eagerly, she announced, “Time to eliminate the Crust Cousins once and for all!” If Brad and Sheldon had been present, they would’ve quaked in fear of how their friend might remake the universe. |
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Despite her dramatic declaration, Jenny made no dramatic changes and did nothing even the slightest bit murder-y. In Alternaverse-2, the Crust Cousins’ reign of terror at Tremorton High had simply never happened, because Brit had never come to stay in America. Instead, preteen Tiff had moved to England to live with Brit’s family. Epiphany Crust was currently visiting the two of them in London, not Tremorton. If Piff had a song climbing the European pop charts, its lyrics had nothing to do with Jenny. |
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The next morning, Dr. Wakeman was surprised to see her daughter waxed and polished, seated at the breakfast table ten minutes ahead of schedule. The scientist stammered, “Bu-bu-but you’re always at least fifteen minutes late.” |
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Jenny gulped down her quart of oil, grabbed her backpack, and headed for the front door. “Just anxious to get to school.” |
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Wakeman called after her, “Bu-bu-but you’re never anxious to get to school!” |
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Despite her supersonic hearing, Jenny barely registered what her mother said as she skipped down the sidewalk. She couldn’t wait to find out what a Crust-less Tremorton High meant for her popularity. Without Brit and Tiff belittling and embarrassing her every day, there was no telling how high on the social ladder she’d climbed. Perhaps she was head cheerleader or captain of the football team, or both. Maybe she’d been elected Class President — no, wait — make that Class Emperor! |
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Jenny burst through the doors of Tremorton High, her eyes closed, her arms spread wide in anticipation of adulation. “All hail the Queen!” |
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Dead silence. The other students stared at Jenny, dumbfounded. Then from the other end of the hall came a sneering voice “You knock a screw loose, ro-butt?” From between Jantrice and Stephanie, out stepped Pteresa. |
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In Alternaverse-2, Pteresa had clearer skin, glossier hair, and better fashion sense than the version of Pteresa from the unaltered universe. Her voice was deeper, and dripping with disdain as she sneered, “There’s only one Queen of Tremorton High and you’re looking at her. But you find yourself a funny little hat with bells on it and maybe I’ll let you be my court jester.” Pteresa laughed at her own joke, then stopped and glared at everyone else until they laughed along with her. |
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It was Jenny’s turn to be dumbfounded. She just stood there in the hall, frozen, as everyone laughed at her. Brad and Sheldon had to borrow a dolly from the janitor and wheel her to her first class. Unable to exit her what-just-happened? subroutine, Jenny finally pushed in her belly bolt and rebooted herself. |
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She spent the rest of the school day quietly observing the new reality around her, though even an 8-bit sport-bot would’ve quickly known the score. Without Brit and Tiff around, it had been Pteresa, not Jenny, who had ascended to the top of the social ladder. Pteresa was the new “Queen of Mean,” and Jenny was still a laughingstock. |
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Oh, and everybody now had five fingers and a thumb, rather than four. Weird. She’d meant to undo that extra finger thing. |
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